Sunday, May 19, 2013

How to Stay Positive?


Staying positive is not always easy. Everyone has difficult days. But staying positive is possible, even if you have been labeled "negative" for a long period of time. You may have already tried to "be more positive" as people always encouraged, and it hasn't worked. I will show you how to break free of the patterns.

First recognize the causes behind your negativity.

Common causes of your negative attitude:

1. Exposure. Growing up, you may have been exposed to people who were constantly sources of negativity. You could also be in the midst of people who are negative. It makes it easy for you to fall into the same patterns of behavior when exposed to this behavior too long.

2. Difficult experiences. Something may have happened to you that changed your perspective on life. Those difficult times have tinted the color of how you now view yourself and your life.

3. Observing outcomes. Things never seem to go your way, and you've felt this way for as long as you can remember. Expecting the worst is best way for you to be "realistic".


Why Negativity?


Did you know complaining has been scientifically proven to make you dumber?  Sorry to jolt you with this. But a jolt is necessary to realize that it does not work for you to complain or to complain to anyone else around you.

Negative people may hate what I'm saying, hate the possibility of being positive and might even be negative and complaining during this entire article. It's a survival mechanism. To feel negative is to be comfortable. It's a way to not expect anything positive and then be disappointed. It's a way to not take risks. It's a way not to enjoy life too much, just in case another bad thing happens. It's also a way to help constantly justify why bad things happened to you and will continue to happen to you. And why you won't go for it.

You remain behind a dark cloud, that never truly allows you to experience the joy and happiness that is meant for your childlike self to experience.

Why me?

You know why you're negative. Something happened. And you could probably tell the whole story about it. You might still even be in the situation as you read through this article.

But the time has come to choose a different way of looking at it. A different perspective. A possibility that your experience may look and feel different in the next moment, day or year.

You have to first acknowledge:

1. That you've chosen to look at things the way you do (it's a choice)
2. That it's possible to feel and create joy at any moment
3. That gratitude, a supreme form of gratefulness for what is...is extremely beneficial to your life


The Power

The only way to love your life, is to make a decision and realize that the power is within you. Outside will be constantly changing, morphing, disappointing and catastrophic if you let it be. But what is within, no one can touch. And it's a constant choice.

Be at peace. Stay positive. Stop yourself when you start complaining and see solutions and what you can be grateful about.

                     Choose a brighter perspective to view your life and people in it, each day.

Xo,

Nicole

Nicole Kulovany
Life Coach, Model, TV Host

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Negotiation and Knowing your Worth

Today I realized that finally after a year of declaring myself sole proprietor, I have finally started to master knowing my worth and negotiating it in business. A much needed skill for any female business owner.

I have noticed that many young women tend to downplay their worth, doing things for free to help out and/or simply do it to be "nice" or to get something "free" out of it, rather than pure and simple monetary compensation. In the long run this is extremely dis-empowering.

As a human being, you need to value your worth, time and energy. Otherwise you will be mentally, physically and financially drained, especially working for yourself!

I've taught women around me to take this on. Realize their worth. STOP DOING THEIR PASSION FOR FREE. One woman recently made her first check as a makeup artist out of this power call we had.

All in all, stop being "nice", stop wasting your time and giving your all for nothing in return, which is very tempting being run out of pure feminine nurturing energy (see link for more info on feminine energy: http://luminouswarrior.com/blog/feminine-and-masculine-energies). You need balance.

Do I still want to give my all for clients? Absolutely, even more so.

And I set boundaries about what is expected and what I expect. If you don't, you let yourself be run by the other person in the negotiation. Let it be a discussion, rather than a surrender. Quit being afraid to declare what you need in the receiving end and in the project you are working on.

And know that if something falls through after negotiation, that something bigger is coming! Be firm! It's happened for me and it will happen for you.

You will respect yourself and be respected.

Be CLEAR, FEARLESS, and KNOW YOUR WORTH.

Holler.

With all the love and empowerment possible,
Nic




Friday, April 13, 2012

“To Attract the New and Better, Purge the Old and Stagnant” by Ali Brown



Whenever I’m feeling stuck and want to attract new and better ideas or opportunities, I clean out my file cabinet.
Yes. That’s one big secret!
I clean out my file cabinet.
Can’t explain exactly how it works, but it does.
Just last week, I wanted to get back to working on my book, but was feeling totally resistant. It told myself at least I would pull out the file to work on later, so it would be in my face on my desk all day.

When I opened my file drawer in my desk and started digging, it hit me. There were papers, records, and notes in there from abandoned projects, persons I no longer worked with, old clients, an unpleasant legal matter, and even a crazy ex-fiancé!
In order for me to mine for the gems, I had to trudge through all my old sh*t.
I had to WORK to find the good stuff. Hmmm.
Not good! Physically or energetically.
Time to shout “Clear the decks!” and line up the Hefty bags.
It was time to create space for exciting new projects, amazing new clients, and titillating new opportunities in my LIFE, so it was surely time to at least create them in my DRAWER!
To attract the new and better, you have to purge the old. From Aristotle and Einstein way back when, to physicists today, both scientists and philosophers agree that (at least here on Earth) nature abhors a vacuum.
Meaning, when you create space, the Universe will gladly fill it up for you, with what your intentions are set on.
The problem is if you don’t have space, nothing new can come in.
So, I don’t care how busy you are. If you are feeling a bit stuck, you’ve got to clear away some of that old energy and make ROOM for the new.
This principle applies to everything in your life—from files to relationships—but today let’s focus on your office and workspace.
Here are my BIG 3 areas I have clients attack right away:
1. Your Files — I bet most of the stuff in there you can honestly trash right now. If there are records you absolutely should keep, get them out of your workspace and into neatly organized boxes that are stored elsewhere. (I used to rent a small storage unit, and then I had nice cabinets installed in my garage.)
Then organize what you DO need and want on hand in beautiful colored file folders that are nicely labeled. (I’m a huge fan of the P-Touch labeler!) And here’s the BIG secret: Create files not only for the business you have now, but especially for the business you want to create! Have sections that draw attention to exciting new projects or opportunities or business. For example, if you dream of working with high-paying clientele, create a folder that says “$10,000 Clients”. Because I want to focus on my book, my book project is right up front in a beautiful file folder.
2. Books — Some guys in the industry I know brag about how big their home libraries are. I’m not a fan of keeping hundreds of books around to clutter my office and home. Blech. Very stagnant energy.
I suggest you only keep books on hand that you:
1. are currently reading
2. that you LOVE (not just like) and want to have around forever
3. refer to regularly.
Otherwise keep a bin in your office handy to toss books into as you are done with them. They are then passed on to a friend or client, or donated to a local library or school.
And guess what? If you ever miss a book you gave away or you need it again, you can get it. In all my years of purging, this has only been necessary about three times. Puts it in perspective.
3. Photos & Mementos — An old acquaintance of mine had dozens of shelves in her home that prominently featured her work with past clients. Problem was, I came to learn at least three of these clients either were suing her or had tried to sue her. (Why she was attracting this was another story.) What terrible energy to have photos, mementos, and work related to these toxic relationships in front of her every single day!
There was one point a few years ago I looked around my office and realized there were photos of people I didn’t associate with anymore. I had some great digital snapshots of my best friends and some recent amazing experiences on my computer, but they weren’t around me at my desk. So I just went into Walgreens one day and had the best ones printed and picked up some nice frames for them. Now as I look around my office, I’m surrounded by friends old and new who I love and make me happy to look at.
Warning: Be Ready for “Energy Eruptions”!
There was one particular purging day I remember from years ago. I was getting rid of so much stuff that represented the OLD me—there must have been at least 10 trash bags going out the door—and it brought up a lot of weird feelings. I was throwing out many mementos from my failed marriage and also early business ventures from when I was very unsure of myself, including some projects that had gone sour.
Later that day, I not only felt exhausted, but devastated, like I’d been knocked down by a truck! I cried for hours and felt a bit nauseous as well. (Almost as if I was going to chuck up some internal files of my own!)
Whether conscious or not, know that purging your environment physically will also bring up anything that needs to come up energetically. Be gentle on yourself and make sure you have some time to rest afterwards.
Just know that when you wake up the next day, you’ll feel amazing walking into your home office set up for the NEW you! And something magical will happen from it—I promise. I’ve had clients attract new opportunities, clients, or the exact idea they needed as soon as the very next day.
So schedule a PURGE this week or weekend. You’ll thank me later!
Would love to hear your comments and ideas below. Please contribute…
==========
© 2012 Ali International, LLC
“Entrepreneur mentor Ali Brown teaches women around the world how to start and grow a profitable business that make a positive impact. Get her FREE CD “Top 10 Secrets for Entrepreneurial Women” at www.AliBrown.com

Monday, March 12, 2012

Happiness in Life...Why does it come and go?


ABC's of Your Unhappiness

A. Your state of being!
(State of being = being depressed, being discouraged, being ungrateful, being UNHAPPY! It's a state of mind that can change at any moment once you realize the power you have over your mind's state RATHER THAN being a victim of circumstances! You have a choice!)

B. Your perception!
(Have you ever noticed how you might perceive an event in your life, but someone else with that similar circumstance is positive and sees it as "a growing experience" or just knows "something better is around the corner". This is just a difference in perception. And again, you have a choice!


C. And finally, what you are committed to in life!
(Are you committed to complaining, holding onto things and relationships that don't fit your needs, self-sabotaging, being disappointed, ungrateful and not really facing your fears and/or doing what's right for yourself? Why? Get off the ground and walk - ALWAYS!)

Happiness is a choice ladies and gentlemen. And the power is in you!



Daily, breathe in the state of happiness, perception of happy endings in all circumstances and commitment to be overall happy in your life!

Xo with peace and love,

Nicole Kulovany
Model, Life Coach, Entrepreneur
www.victoriousone.com

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Stefanie McKim - Marketing for the new generation


Stefanie McKim is young and hip, and is our featured marketing guru. She is an expert for your business marketing needs, especially for the following in your new or established business:


* Logo design
* Power point Design
* Trend board Design
* Blogging
* Styling
* Linesheet Design


For more information on her freelance marketing assistance for your business, e-mail her directly: S_mckim@hotmail.com



Sunday, March 04, 2012

Goals: The importance of declaring them and visualizing




Feeling unsure about actually writing out goals? Are you thinking what if I don't hit my goals or it doesn't work? Then how will I feel? I totally get and completely understand your possible feelings around writing out your goals.


NEVER FAILURE, ONLY WHAT'S MISSING


Look at it like playing basketball, when you miss a shot, it means nothing about you, you are not a failure, you inherently in your being are perfect as you are just standing on the court, nothing is missing or failing in your existence, there is just something missing in your physical jump shot, both from needing to practice the action of shooting the ball more often and mentally being in the game (envisioning outcome/meditating on it beforehand/focusing mentally/being in the game).

POWER OF GOALS

You will hit 80% of the goals you put out on average. The POWER of the goals is it shifts your mind from being comfortable with the way things are, to feeling a gap in between where you are and where you want to be and it FORCES your mind, body, spirit and Universe and God to align with what goals you set and stick to. REVIEW your top goals daily!!

VISUALIZING AND DECLARING 

It's very powerful to declare, then also envision things happening and going with the flow as well, believing in faith it will all happen, and it will! That way you are in motion, in faith, clarity with direction and vision and when goals are met you can rejoice with your own effort and thank the Universe a lot of the work for you!   (remember the little boy who is hungry and God is trying to feed him? You setting goals is like telling God you are ready to eat! :) Opening your arms to the food He's already provided and has ready for you and putting goals are like putting out the plates and forks LOL)

INSPIRATION LINKS AND PROMISES
1. IMPORTANT LINK : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ&feature=endscreen&NR=1 Success: How bad do you want it?

2. And http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Hoops-Spiritual-Lessons-Hardwood/dp/1401308813/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330923440&sr=8-1 (Phil Jackson helped lead Bulls and Lakers to 11 Championships, he is Christian and added the healthy mental practice of meditation and envision) 

3. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

John 15:16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.


Goals = Success! Vision = Empowered! Faith = Go!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

ENTREPRENEUR POWER CALL 2.26.12

Weekly Power Call for Women Entrepreneurs. Contact leaderpowercall@gmail.com if interested in joining our calls.


Love you two! Attached are the notes. All of our voices speak through it. If I missed anything please point it out. I'm reading and writing in the dark LOL XOXO

And remember, goals/dates in by next Sunday!

XOXO
Nicole

Book List
1.       Self-Esteem
By Nathaniel Branden

2.       48 Laws of Power
By Robert Green

TRIPLE THREAT – Brains, Beauty and Power (good power/influence/balancing energy)


Nicole, Randal and Liz’s Power Shares

·         Keys to Prosperous Path from a Mentor Who Has MADE IT in Beverly Hills/Hollywood and Loves His Life!
o   Pray to God   (we all have been! but keep it up! Don't forget!) LOL
o   Be Decisive, stick to it, Commit    (keep listening to God and following the flow and direction you’re given)
o   Be Faithful     (Believe it will happen, see it happening in your mind, know and remember God is faithful!!!)
·         Randal ‘s advice -  is to go for it, don’t let people’s opinions effect where you’re going. You and God and your relationship and your purpose and dreams are what matter! And even better things will come along when you let go of what you’re holding onto that isn’t working.
o   Set Goals!    (This is SO important! You will see more evidence of why in the CD I’ll send you both)
o   Envision reaching your goals (Do this often!! I recommend daily)
o   And Be Thankful everyday.   (This is like taking vitamins for your soul – more than 75% of the world doesn’t have proper food, clothing or shelter – we are very blessed beyond belief)
THANKFULNESS
·         1. If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the people in the world.
·         2. If you can attend a church or synagogue meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are more blessed than 3 billion people in the world.
·         3. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are more blessed than 500 million people in the world.
·         4. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% percent of the world's wealthy.
·         5. If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the 1 million who will not survive this week.
Higher Purpose

Ladies – let’s be mindful and continue to look at the bigger picture of why we are doing what we do. This, I believe, helps suppress our ego (a natural human trait we all have) and has us be Conscious, Aware, Loving and Serving God and Higher Purpose.

Liz shared her purpose and testimony.
Randal and I both have a purpose in the industries we are in. I personally am reminded to look at the bigger picture in why God has me where He has me.

What is our purpose? Outline this in your goals or rough draft it and I recommend keeping this at the forefront daily as leaders.

______________________________________________________________________________ _____

The Itch

·         Annoyed with our boss
·         Not liking the way the leaders are doing their job
·         Feeling frustrated with our day
·         Being pulled in different directions, harassed , feeling attacked or walled-in somehow
·         Inability to act on a certain path (same old path) we’ve been on for awhile for no apparent logical reason

The Itch – as entrepreneurs and leaders “the itch” comes when we our not fulfilling our purpose and journey, we are headed in the wrong direction and/or there is a change coming and it’s time to open our eyes and be ready.


Jealousy, Envy, Combativeness
Again, raise your hand if you have not been here? We’re human. We all have.

But realize this as a red flag that something is missing, something is needed to be learned and /or something needs to be healed. And if we pray to God about it the answers will come and maybe even from unexpected places.

When you start fulfilling your purpose and live out your dreams, the jealousy and envy naturally subsides. 

Being a Vessel

·         Be a vessel for God’s purpose in you. Know that the plans are already layed out, the outcome is already there and it’s just a matter of being free, yet obedient. Being in action, yet not taking all the credit. Knowing God is always there and always of guidance whenever and wherever you need Him.

GOD IS GOOD.

Liz - “I feel like this project is already done”…..I’m just a vessel for it.

MONEY and INVESTING


·         “If you have money, invest in yourself”

·         “Save your money, (a specific amount) in the bank for a rainy day”

·         “Be balanced, on top of saving that specific amount, be willing to take a leap of faith in investing in what you will need once you reach your goals and get to where you are headed 
(example Millionaire Mentor who got the more expensive two bedroom place because she knew she would need that office space upon reaching her goals that year)” AND SHE ENDED UP MEETING THOSE GOALS AND SOME! (Create the space)

Loehmanns, Ross’s and TJMaxx – Affordable designer clothes ;;)

Don’t buy that new car unless you need it

OVERALL – BE SMART, DISCIPLINED AND FAITHFUL WITH YOUR MONEY!!!!

Be Passionate and Love What You Do

·         When you let go or quit what you’re doing. God will open up more opportunities for you.
·         When you love what you do, the money will come

DISTRACTIONS/DEVIL/NEGATIVITY

·         Be aware of your distractions
·         Be aware of people/devil/bad energy that pops up when you’re on fire
·         DO NOT succumb to temptations. Waste of time. Waste of energy. Distraction and not purposeful = devil winning
·         God is Greater. Your Purpose and Living it Out on this Earth is Greater. Be Stronger than any Temptation through Courageousness, Discipline and Focus.
·         Also building Self-Esteem, has you be higher than lower vibrations and distractions. You will Love yourself, have the ability to Love others in all circumstances and Be naturally uninterested in Temptations or Distractions.

Some quotes I just came across from the Bible

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, The Holy Bible, I Corinthians 13:4-7

According to God as spoken by Job...
"And to man He said, 'Behold, the fear of the Lord that is wisdom; And to depart from evil is understanding.'"
-Job 28:28
30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’[a] This is the first commandment.[b] 31 And the second, likeit, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’[c] There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Praise God!

Love you Both!
XO,
Nicole


Sunday, February 12, 2012

This week topic is on Haters: "How to recover from the blows of Haters...the Un-Godly Energy Attack"

Hmm...this article is a gift to those struggling with keeping your mind right on your journey due to haters and bad vibes.

Two things:

#1 God is Good.

#2 There are a lot of haters who will try to bring you down, ESPECIALLY when you are on fire and making things happen toward your dreams and/or for the greater good. They are either feeling threatened, low in self-esteem, can't feel God's love at the moment and/or they just don't like you because they don't understand you.

Below is a breakdown of the Hater mentality and then I'm just going to share a personal account with you, hopefully give you peace that you are not the only one who struggles with this and how to get past it.

Keys to Understanding Haters (Hater-ade)

A. Humans are afraid of what they don't understand and are NOT familiar with:

(and this probably includes you at times and me at times! :)

1. ideas that are unfamiliar
2. businesses that are unconventional
3. attitudes and expressions that don't fit our idea of "right" or the cultural norm

B. Humans judge you often based on very little evidence

1. How you look or present yourself
2. What you have and don't have
3. What you appear to stand for

(Not your heart)

C. Humans don't like to feel excluded, threatened by or less than because of what you are doing

1. You are up to peace in the world (they like war)
2. You make a difference in relationships (they have really crappy relationships and don't plan on doing anything about it because they are scared to look in the mirror)
3. You have worked hard and made it (they haven't figured out their dreams and/or are not working hard toward them, refuse to see you as a leader and mentor, only as a threat)

Advice for those speaking Hater words

1. You cannot judge right away based on surface levels, you must first walk 365 days in their shoes and get to know their heart
2. Most people who do the "worst" things have been hurt the most
3. Love and compassion cures, hurtful and hateful words breeds devastation and can destroy someone's soul


My personal story

Two weeks ago I was in a state of love, joy, peace, serenity. I was feeling really good about everything, tons of hope, confidence, happiness and just loved everyone, even strangers after getting back from LA. Felt really really good!!! And I was on fire with my projects! :))

Then, all of a sudden, up pops a few human beings, being mean and malicious in their approach, making rude statements and judgments toward me. (And this was not the first time I'd experience this from them).

Is it a coincidence that I was so full of utter joy and love when this happened?

I learned a lot. Like how to really address the real issue with someone privately and express feelings powerfully, rather than argue. And how you need to have thick skin if you want to be a leader. And thick skin includes maintaining a personal and healthy relationship with God and yourself in what way works for you...a way to seek solace in hard times at anytime.

But before I learned this I fell into a deep sadness last week. My self-esteem shrunk and I felt small like I should live my life to please other's view of me in order to be good enough for God and that being happy and joyful is wrong.

The Shift - Meeting with Celebrity Hair Colorist: Johnny Ramirez

I had a meeting with celebrity colorist, Johnny Ramirez, and I didn't want to go. I didn't feel good enough, less than, hurt. I also thought him being so much involved with Hollywood that his ego would be out of control and his heart would be dark and "evil" and he would trample me even more. (My own human judgment).

He was everything but...we sat down in the lobby of the Ritz Carlton, thinking we would talk business, having my laptop open to show him some work, he asks me "Do you believe in God?"

Everything shifted...

Four hours we talked about his journey to success and how God has been good to him. How he went from growing up to East LA with no education to now being a celebrity Hollywood colorist, breaking records with his age, experience, magazine covers and the amount of A-List celebrities he works with. And loving every minute of his life.

It started when he was working a factory job at 25 years old, miserable. He was watching his friends from where he grew up get incarcerated and killed. He wanted to get out of the doom of his situation. He cried out to God to give him a skill. Any skill. A way for him to break out of the poverty he came from. And he promised he would work hard and be the best.

Three years later he enrolls in beauty school.

At age 30, a late bloomer (according to industry standards) he graduates. He randomly pulls up to a Beverly Hills salon with a black eye and they decide it's time for them to hire a straight guy (his black eye helped) lol. He didn't know it at the time, but this salon was one of only four A-list celebrity salons in Beverly Hills!

God is good.

Eight years later, after working 10 hour shifts with little or no vacations, he is world-renown, getting recognition globally for his work and being sought after by the most famous and most prestigious people in the world. And again, he loves his life.

And he's able to provide for his family. Something that is a blessing for his daughter whom he spends almost all of his free-time with.

It doesn't get to his head...why? Because he knows why he is there...

God is good.

And instead of judging me, he sat there and comforted me. Explaining how there is beauty in being sad, beauty in being human and expressing it. And to not be ashamed of my humanity and emotions. And that everything was going to be ok.

He expressed God's true love and compassion.

He dampened the hurt the hater-like words had caused with love.

http://www.boxnumber216.com/johnnybio.html - Johnny Ramirez Biography

Healing and Reviving

If you are feeling down for whatever reason in the midst of your journey to your goals and dreams, especially due to others hurtful words. Remember that all good things are from God.

That even those coming to you in the name of God expressing judgment on you in a hurtful way...are not being Godly. And it's ok, we all make mistakes.

Summary of this week's lessons: Monitor your heart. Don't give up. Pray and seek out things and you will get. Work hard. Be thankful everyday.

And for times when you struggle with the other side, such as hurting a person: Love and encourage one another, express concern with tact and compassion, remember that you must judge only when you have walked 365 days in their shoes and kindly advise with an open mind if you think they are in harms way.



Xo, Peace and love,
Nicole

Friday, February 03, 2012

You’re Purpose in Life – Possibility and Confidence

You’re Purpose in Life – Possibility and Confidence

When you’re feeling down and out, drinking too much, eating too much chocolate, feeling like a loser walking around town, what’s missing for you is purpose and self-esteem. Like Tony Robbins’s teaches, as human beings we need to feel significant somehow, like we matter, like we're good enough, like we have purpose in this world, even if it’s just caring for another being on this planet, otherwise what is the point of even being here? Whether it’s a flower we water or a project we work on that fulfills all our passion, our end goal is to be happy and to have some reason and expression of our existence, right?

The first step I can give you to fulfilling your purpose and feeling good about yourself is:
“Remember every great thing anyone has ever said about you, and believe it 100%”
I remember I was driving through Chicago in my 98 Honda Accord, barely making it while I lived in my friend’s closet in her condo. Do you think I felt good about myself most of the time? Absolutely not, I felt like a loser, like I shouldn’t have been where I was (resistant to my circumstances). And I couldn’t shake this bad feeling I had as I was searching for myself out there, somewhere in the world for myself and my purpose. I searched in religion, in guys I dated, in friends I made, in going out to clubs, in salsa, in helping the homeless, in participating in all kinds of programs. And no matter what I did, I was still left with this feeling of not good enough.

Then I had a moment in 2009, driving down the middle of a dirty desolate road in the middle of a bitterly cold winter day in downtown Chicago, where I started to see myself in 3rd person like everyone else saw me in the world, things that I couldn’t see in a crappy, depressed, low self-worth state of mind with little money during the worst recession since the Great Depression. I saw, like a person standing beside me, how capable I was, how warm I was with strangers, a joy to be with, how much I encouraged and made a difference for others despite how much money I had in my pocket. I saw a person who was still beautiful and cool despite what I currently called my profession. I was getting free and getting confidence.

This opening, this outside perspective of myself, what everyone else saw that was great in me that I for so long could not see because of what I didn't feel I had, had me beaming with joy and a new found confidence. I remember texting (yes I text while I was driving lol – I think and I hope I might have pulled over…lol) but I text a group of my friends, “Remember every great thing that anyone’s ever said about you and believe it 100%”. This experience and quote that came to me helped shift my worldview and reality to how much I loved my being, that I had value in my existence, that I mattered and so did my life here on this earth no matter what my current circumstances were.

Questions for you to consider: What compliments do you receive all the time from people that you don’t see for yourself? How has this affected you reaching your goals and going for what matters to you? How has this affected your relationships and the way you relate to the world?

Discouragement about Living out Dreams and Purpose

When you’re first starting out toward your dreams you might get impatient because you don’t have the dream gig yet, the money yet, the fancy car yet, the perfect pad to call your home, but don’t worry about that. I understand wanting to have safety, security or nice things if you truly enjoy them, but let that go for a moment. Get that your value, your worth and your purpose have nothing to do with those things. And although those things can be nice, they can lead to a devastating emptiness in people’s lives when that’s all they’ve lived for. (For some people nice things they have are never enough and they never feel whole and complete, needing more and more and more of the outside material world to validate their worth and being). And you have nice things already, even if it's the cotton woven shirt on your back - appreciate it! :)

Instead when you work toward your goals, remember that every single step matters, each time you practice something, study something, draft something, work toward something, that each little thing is a vital step toward your goals or dreams, and that part of your journey is the most beautiful part in between you and your desired destination. Focus and continue, don't give up.

Criticism: how to not take it to heart

I wish, and yes if I could go back, I would quit listening to all the Debbie Downers that put me down about modeling and being a model and I would’ve gone for it sooner. The sooner the better in whatever it is you want to do. I remember I heard it all, “you have no emotion in your face like a real model would” (this was from one of the first photographers I worked with – I probably had no emotion because it was my first freaking photo-shoot with an agency standard photographer and I was scared out of my mind!!) Most of my friends said I looked really scared in my expressions from that shoot too LOL (duh right?!). But I was so down about this for so long. But guess what? Instead of sulking about it any longer, I started studying models in magazines and their expressions, I began to mimic them and gaining confidence. Four years later this is what photographers compliment me on most; my range of emotion. And I feel this creativity and expression in what I do which is extremely fun and fulfilling!

I appreciate the criticism to drive me to grow now, but if I could give anyone advice, it would be not to take any criticism to heart and get discouraged; know that you can do it – keep going! And when people criticize your ability and your goals, take it as a gift, use it to get even better and go for it even more. Even if they may not deliver the criticism nicely, don’t take it to heart as if you are less than or not good enough, get their communication of the issue and find a solution to improve. And remember it is one person’s opinion. I remember a handful of photographers mentioning my age and how it's too late for me to model. If I wouldn't have listened to that and believed it as truth, I would probably be 10x further than I am right now. And that's what I tell new aspiring models all the time - stop believing that crap! And in whatever you are doing, stop believing similar standard opinions!! Things change everyday, opportunities arise everyday, anything is possible! My theory is that these photographers were in my life for my growth rather than discouragement, which I couldn't see at first, only could see these criticisms as reasons why I couldn't make it and I should stop modeling. I really stopped modeling for almost two years and I used the excuse of “doing what really matters” to stay away from where I had felt rejected.

Building self-esteem and confidence

One month I traveled to LA and at Starbucks I started meeting mentors who were older than me and had made it in their career. They taught me self-esteem and getting your value and worth is the most important thing. The next thing I know I go back to Miami, I'm flying to S. America modeling for a multi-million dollar company, getting signed with a more established and selective Miami based agency, hosting an MTV televised fashion show (so fun!), doing commercials and infomercials (also interesting haha!) and modeling for an editorial photo-shoot with an amazing up and coming Japanese designer in LA that same year. And most importantly I’m loving every minute of it!

I’m happy, not because I have reached all my goals yet, but because I know I can do it now, believe in myself and have high hopes for the future no matter what someone says to me. Criticism is still appreciated and considered, but does not interfere with my actions and moving forward toward my end goals any longer or the way I feel about my abilities.

This is what you need, no matter where you are in your journey. Whether you call it faith, hope, confidence, self-esteem, doesn’t matter to me what you call it, just get that when you put it out there, what it is you want to do, don’t take criticism to heart (use it to improve), see your worth and keep moving forward with the finish line constantly in your view - truly anything is possible for you! Enjoy the journey and don’t worry about what you have or don’t have along the way, it will happen and eventually you will have whatever you need and appreciate it. And most importantly, you will be fulfilled and happy along the way.

IT’S POSSIBLE AND IT’S UP TO YOU!!!! GOO!!!!!!! **MUAH**

Author : Nicole Kulovany
Copyright ©2012 Victorious One Life Coaching LLC

Friday, December 16, 2011

Peace

When you feel safe, when you don't fear death, when you take what comes and don't make it wrong or right.

When you forgive everyone and apologize quickly. Recognize the beauty in flaws within and around you.

When you let things flow.

Peace.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

5 Steps to Starting a Business and Getting Clients

Ways to start your business and get clients:

1. Be Yourself
A lot of times when you start a business you may be worried about how you come across to potential customers. This is completely normal, except the problem lies in you possibly shifting who you are to fit what you think people like. When you are trying to be someone else to fit a client base, you are not being yourself. Humans pick up on this and they don’t like it. Be yourself.

Say what you really want to say with the best intention. As long as the intention is there the results will follow so don’t worry about wording it a way a different person would, word it the way you would.

2. Be an Expert
Don’t be shy about bragging about how good you are. People want to hear this and they want to hire and work with the best.

You can be honest about starting out, but then follow up with your goal or intention (for example you just started out, but you are passionate about fulfilling solving x so that they can have y for their life). Also give them a tip or solution right away, showing you’re there to help, not just fill your calendar and increase your paycheck.

3. Hire an Assistant
There’s something powerful about hiring someone to work for you. Not only does it increase the likelihood of getting clients with their help, but it also gives your business even more legitimacy and energy.

If you hire the right person it also give your business more talent, because we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Hire someone that compliments you and you will have a well rounded business building momentum.

4. Don’t mention Price
A lot of people may ask the price of your service first, but you need to build value and trust before you mention price. Big mistake to bring money into the conversation before you’ve created the value. All they will be thinking about is the price if you mention it too soon.

If the person hears what you're offering (the value) and really really want it, the price will matter less and less!

5. DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!
Failure is an important part of your business. It helps you grow, it helps you appreciate when you succeed and it's something EVERYONE experiences when starting out. Don't ever let it discourage you. Keep in mind the reasons why you started the business, have those reasons and your visions for the future of your business keep the momentum going! And enjoy the ride!! ;)

For more ideas or advice e-mail us now! lifecoach@victoriousone.com

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Adam and Eve...the great fall

I came home tonight after an awesome night out with my friends and I felt this peace driving home. A sense of nothingness. Everything was ok. I had nothing to worry about, no drama to think about. Men, money, career, didn't matter. I just felt peace.

Then I came home and opened the Bible to chapter 1. It had been a little bit since I read it so I felt like I had fresh eyes.

Adam and Eve and the great fall... what do you think it is? When you are religious you have this doomsday approach to the fall. I remember I used to think that this was when "evil" came into the world and Eve is so bad and so is Adam for the fall, we're so fallen.

RIDICULOUS.

Are you ready for this? It's so simple and it's been irking me since Day 1 that I read the bible. You can't see it when you are religious ("devoted to religious beliefs").

The fall is simply man thinking himself wise, a God, a know it all, a determiner of what is right and what is wrong, a black and white view maker, a judgment on another human being, on the ways of the world and how they "should be".

And the consequence of this has been separation of humans, loss of love, war, greed, you name it. Because if you can't just be and have peace and stop judging everything and everyone around you for being a certain way YOU CAN'T FULLY EXPERIENCE THE LOVE OF GOD FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS. YOU CAN'T FEEL CONNECTED TO PEOPLE AND CONNECTED TO YOUR ENVIRONMENT. YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL SEPERATED AND DISTINGUISHED BECAUSE YOU ARE A KNOW IT ALL, WISE FROM EATING THE APPLE FROM THE TREE OF "I THINK I'M GOD AND I KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT OR WRONG" AS IF YOU CREATED THE EARTH AND THE PEOPLE AND THINGS ON IT YOURSELF!!!!! YOU DID NOT, YOU ARE NOT THE CREATOR.

Have you ever felt lost, disconnected, unhappy, etc? You see...I have been on this journey for 4 years. In 2007 I forgave people in my life who would think I should have never forgave. I not only forgave them, I apologized to them. And what happened was my years of feeling hate literally and physically left my body. I remember hanging up with someone who I had once thought murdered my innocence and wished him dead so he didn't do it to others to a release of so much pain from the hate I had held onto and then tingling in my legs and the crown of my head like a euphoric bubbling, felt so amazing. And I was full of so much love. I loved the person I once hated because I apologized. This was not easy at first, at all. When you think you are right you just want to hold onto that, you want to continue to make the person wrong for the rest of your life. But it is only killing you, the light in you, the love in you, the connection to God and to others on the planet and to the planet itself.

You may have it hidden deep within you, it's that anger that surfaces when you get into fights with people. It's that devastating sadness you feel in certain situations. It's there whether or not you feel it and see it all the time, it's in you.

I remember calling or writing almost everyone in my life and apologizing for things. My ego disappeared. And for four months I felt like I was connected to everything. Driving to work I felt connected to the trees and the telephone lines, the sky, my car, everything. I felt so present, peaceful and full of this unearthly love. I remember walking into this car dealership and dealing with a person who would normally be sexually harrassing every woman that walked in and make me feel uncomfortable. I had usually despised and acted coldly toward him, but that day I could only laugh with joy when he kept being perfectly himself. He was perfectly him, I had no judgment, no grudge against him. I remember him being shocked. He saw the change in me.

You see, our biggest dilemma in life is when our loving relationship with ourself, others and the planet we live on is compromised with what we call knowledge of right or wrong, which amounts to judgment and further to electing ourselves as right about this knowledge and allowing ourself to separate ourselves from love based on what we make up and agree on as right or wrong.

When you let it go and let things be, YOU GET TO BE FREE. Like a newborn with fresh eyes to the world. Untouched and untainted by judgment. Filled with unconditional love.

Does this make sense to you? Do you get it? The simple message in all religious texts gets so fuzzy with our manmade knowledge of right/wrong.

GOOD IS FROM LOVE. YOU WILL BEAR GOOD FRUIT IF YOU ARE FULL OF LOVE. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE NOT FULL OF LOVE BECAUSE WE ARE JUDGING RIGHT AND WRONG, BIG KNOW IT ALLS, NOT LETTING PEOPLE JUST BE AND LOVING PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE AND FOR WHO THEY AREN'T. WE'VE PLACED SO MANY CONDITIONS ON LOVE THAT IT IS NOT REALLY LOVE AT ALL, IT IS US SEPARATED BY OUR JUDGMENT, TRYING TO FRAGMENT AND FIT THINGS INTO OUR LOVE CONDITIONS.

To transcend the great fall we must step up and against the norm of letting things fester between us and people in our lives for the rest of our lives. You must make that uncomfortable call, write that uncomfortable letter and text that uncomfortable text, apologizing for all the judgment you've been having on someone in your life, no matter what they've done.

It's time to get free.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Rituals = more balance and peace

Have you ever not wanted to get out of bed? Or couldn't seem to fall asleep? Or throughout the day just not really enjoying it?

Something simple you may be missing are healthy rituals that have either been forgotten or have yet to be created.

For example, if you wake up in the morning and make your herbal tea to go sit outside until the sun rises or by the fire until you warm up, you may find yourself looking forward to waking up.

Or if you love to read, write in your journal, see the latest scores on your favorite teams when you get home from work, but you haven't been doing that because you're "too busy", you're probably doing your nightly routine harm and not able to fully complete and enjoy your day.

Our rituals in our routine are important, just like a bird chips in the AM and finds a pond to clean in late evening, we also have rituals to do that have us feel more fulfilled and our day be more balanced and complete.

Although small, rituals are important. They give us peace after a hectic day and bring us joy in the morning.

What rituals do you have in the morning, in the afternoon and before bed? What did you used to do that you enjoyed at these times that you no longer do? How could you begin to do these again and make time for them so they are again part of your routine? What have you not done at these times of day that you would like to try?

Friday, July 29, 2011

Success

How do you be successful? What is success? How do you feel when you're successful?

Why is it that those you might believe are rich and successful are not always happy?

Do you want to be successful because you are happy when you're successful? Or you feel safe when you're successful? Or approved of?

Be whatever feeling you get out of being successful NOW!

Success is a state of mind and lots of great accomplishments will come out of that state of mind. First desire something, make a choice to go for it, be persistent, keep going and you'll get what you want.

But you got to deal with who you are being now first. Be, in this moment right now, whatever success will bring you in the future. Will you be happy and free if you're a millionaire? Be that now!

You can do it!! I believe in you! Go!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Negativity...Fire Breathers in Action

Have you ever talked to someone and every comment they make involves a sense of doom or worst case possible scenario? They can see the end coming before you ever begin? And in the case of something you've already began or accomplished they suck the good vibe energy right out of it and breathe their negative fire all over it destroying the good feeling you were having about it?

It's like the co-worker who is constantly assuming the worst and looking at the worst in you and everything else that's happening. Really inspires you to shoot for the moon, doesn't it? And the mom or brother who is constantly expecting you to fail and sees you in a not so bright light despite you saving the world with all your good deeds? Makes you really want to share your life with them right?

These people suck. lol. Just kidding they don't suck, we love them, but they do suck the life out of your dreams, aspirations, visions and goals. Deep down we just want them to be quiet. And it's not them we really don't like, it's their energy that they keep feeding. They're like these fire breathing dragons that blow out negative energy all over your life. I tell them in my head to take their fire somewhere else because I'm blowing this up like it's 1999. You should think of a good energy comeback line in your head too.

Maybe you are the one being negative? Stop it. It's not you, it's a choice you're making. Start seeing the brighter side of the world, it's not ending yet, we're still here, so make the best of it! And make others feel good with some positive energy! Believe in them, believe in yourself!! And look at everything you once viewed as negative as a breeding ground for growth.

Fire breathers, please drown out that noise with some refreshing encouragement. Look at the greatness in people and wish the best for them. This will manifest in your life too. And survivors of fire breathers, keep moving forward and harnessing the powerful peaceful and positive energy that has you reach your dreams and goals.

Peace and Love. And may the right energy be with you. ;)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Falling in love...a measure of character? Or good looks?

You’ll always have that friend that likes the quirky looks of man with glasses and a pocket protector and that other friend who digs the prep with the bulging biceps, well defined calve muscles and that classic chiseled face.

But regardless of your preference in what your future love will look like, what is it really that you fall in love with?

Mysteriously it goes beyond the surface, deep into the depths of what moves you about someone’s character and personality.

Is the hot guy you’re dating dressed to perfection, career skyrocketing, but he can’t manage to keep his word with you or contain himself from talking bad about other people he considers less than himself?

Is your nerdy love interest dripping with nerdy quirks you dig, but he’s so wrapped up and consumed by E=MC2 that he can’t pull himself away from it and get interested in you and your life for five minutes and has pen stains all over everything including your clothes?

Sometimes we’re infatuated with the way someone looks or how successful or admired they are or how their glasses accentuate their genius intelligence, but when you sit down and strip those things away do you love that person?

Imagine the one you love gets in a car accident and now your chiseled face stallion has a disfigured face and difficulty speaking as well, on top of it he loses his top position in the company he’s been working for and is forced to work at Olive Garden, do you still love him?

Or imagine your nerdy genius lover falling off a cliff, going into a coma and no longer knowing quantum physics, in fact, he has forgotten his ABC’s and has to re-learn everything intellectually again and loses the top position in the science lab.

This is a true test of whether or not you are “falling in love” for the wrong reasons.

AND that love really does not ever involve infatuation with someone’s looks or prestige.

You still will love that stallion who has a disfigured face and demoted job at Olive Garden because you secretly admire his heart and the way he cares for your children and the strangers you meet, the way he never gives up and is always there for you in a rough spot.

Or the nerdy genius who’s now intellectually starting all over, but still brings you coffee in the morning when you get out of bed and comes to pick you up 5 minutes early because he doesn’t want to be late and draw this masterpieces of you and him that expresses the way he feels about you.

The point is ladies…love is in the depth of a man’s character. It’s when you’re making love with his beer gut, but you fantasize about how amazing he’s been treating you and your family and closeness you feel from sharing all your worries with him the night before.

Your fantasies of his character may vary, depending upon what you value in a partner’s character or personality.

But the truth remains, shallow infatuation confused with love fades, but what remains forever, wrinkles and all, is the love you feel for the depth of your man’s character.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Jealousy

Jealousy.

I hear it all the time...my friend's jealous of girls because they're skinnier. A guy I'm dating is jealous of another guy who's friends with me. My dad's jealous of the guy that gives my mom attention. I used to get jealous when people were driving the car I wanted.

Jealousy defeats anything you ever want.

I remember one day I was helping someone who was homeless and had lost his wife, his BMW and all of his prized possessions. We were in Miami at the time and we saw everyone around us rolling around in their Benz's and Roll's Royce's and one day he said, "You know what Nicole, no matter how much my circumstances are different than those guys right now rolling in the Benz's, I don't ever get jealous, I am happy for them". I kind of looked at him in disbelief because he always talked about how much he loved nice things and how difficult it has been to lose everything. He said, "If you are envying others, it will only harm you...those guys worked really hard to be where they are and I'm happy for them". I watched him give away his leather jacket, his designer glasses and fancy hats to other homeless people who needed them. And I got it. It was beautiful.

I was inspired.

And I understood.

It's not about the things we have, it's about the love we have for each other.

I told my friend who's been uncomfortable and jealous around skinny girls that what helps is to be happy for them, admire them for their beauty and for them being happy and healthy.

She told me the next week that she tried my advice and it helped tremendously. She was no longer jealous and was feeling more connected and loving toward strangers she'd meet that were skinny. Soon after she started working out and has been reaching her weight goals again.

The lesson is, jealousy separates you from what you really want and causes a huge rift between you and the people you are jealous of or are envying. And even creates barriers between the things you are wanting behind the jealousy you've been experiencing.

I know I'll be riding in a convertible in my lifetime. And I admire those who have done well and have achieved and attained their desires through hardwork and appreciation that are riding in their convertible right now.

Give up jealousy you've been holding onto and choose to view those involved in that scenario in your life in a positive light and you will be surprised at how much better you'll feel and how the things you've wanted in life will come sooner than jealousy would have ever allowed.